Attachment to the outcome is what often makes people quit their journey. When faced with challenges, changing life circumstances, or a dip in commitment, with the fear of failure lurking ahead, they simply throw the towel in and give up. We then come up with a really good reason to justify our actions.
Listen, we've all done it at some point in our lives. You've done it, I've certainly done it in the past, until I learnt a better way.
Now what I am about to say will probably piss a lot of people off (and I'm ok with that).
The truth is that you can't control the outcome. So stop thinking you can.
Read that bit again.
Does that mean that you'll never achieve what you want? Am I saying that there is not point in having goals or even trying? Of course I'm not saying that, but here is what I am saying.
You can't always control the outcome, there are often far too many variables involved (from other peoples actions, to changing circumstances) but you can control your behaviour and thus influence the outcome, and thus making your desired outcome more probable. It's a concept I share with my coaching clients to help them achieve deep, consistent change. Let me give you an example.
What I want you to notice is that behaviour goals are specific action steps that you commit to take on a regular basis, that can lead to the outcome you want.
Keep this in mind, behaviour goals are small manageable tasks that are within your control. They are things that you can do right now, or in the near future. Most importantly they are things you can do consistently and regularly.
Below is a tool that you can use, it was inspired by a similar model by Precision Nutrition that I use with Nutrition Coaching clients to help them stay on track, and achieve success.
Jot this model down some where you will see it on a regular basis (maybe in your journal or diary).
In the first circle write down the outcome that you want to achieve, ask yourself "What is my desired goal?". Then in each of the circles write down 1 - 2 action steps that you will do to push you in the direction of your desired outcome. These are your behaviour goals. Notice how each circle feeds into the other, with your daily tasks connecting to your overall desired outcome.
Here are some top tips.
I'll leave you with this,
Cultivate only the habits that you are willing should master you.